Painting with Pain

In early 2018 I was stuck in bed in pain yet again. I had watched all the programs, read all the books, played all the video games and I was bored. I was frustrated. I was full of the useless fury that only debilitating chronic pain can instill.

Back then I was still working with colors, and watercolors seemed to be a safe thing I could do on the couch with a tray. Surprisingly, I did not spill but I was using the cheap watercolor hard trays. I was so grumpy I didn't want to look at a picture for reference. I just started painting.

Honestly I could not tell you if this was a mouse, a cat, or something else. Not because it looks like both, but because I didn't even make the decision when I painted it. I was originally thought about making it a teddy bear, but when it came time to make the ears I wanted them to be bigger like cat ears. Then I added whiskers, because SURELY teddy bears have whiskers (or space bears with antennae...). It's not even that I changed my mind about what this painting needed to be, it's that I didn't care if it was anything specific.

That is an important lesson. If we want accuracy, then take a picture. It can be extremely satisfying to just paint what you want, whether it exists or not. It doesn't necessarily have to be hugely abstract, just make that cat with extra huge eyes or alligator with wings. Just go with it.