A friend of mine held a winter postcard-making event. I had been curious for a while about collages, and other than a couple of pieces like my Rebel Resist art (there are three levels of paper in that piece), hadn't really tried much. So an opportunity to try something new with an experienced teacher was ACES! Especially since I wasn't having a lot of opportunity to get out of the house, and this was a social activity with very little anxiety. There would be people around, but not a lot of expectation to interact. Perfect!
Attendees were instructed to bring certain supplies, among them magazines to cut our images from. I invited another friend, and we took a few stacks of comic books with us.
Something not people know about me, one of my duties when I worked as an IT specialist in the public schools was as a part-time librarian. This is important just because I want everyone to realize how difficult it was to get myself to cut into media (also because I think everyone should know there once was a ELECTRIC blue-haired school librarian who wore all black and the world didn't end, so let people be themselves already). I probably should have started with simple magazines, because most of them can already be classified as trash. But BOOKS?! I was the one who decided to use comic books but when it came time to actually cut them I balked like a horse encountering a snake. Destroying books was just something I had to fight through. Even when I accepted the idea, I had a classic conundrum- I only wanted to cut up garbage comics, but nothing in garbage comics was worth using.
And you know what? I got over it. That's what you do. Figure out what you are uncomfortable with, think about why it makes you uneasy, and then think about what you can do about it. And then you DEAL WITH IT. Most people are too stuck on the idea that they have to be comfortable all of the time. If they are uncomfortable, are in pain, are too hot or cold, or don't like someone then they think it is automatically bad, wrong, or even evil. I am in intense pain 100% of the time. I cannot avoid it. I can reduce the pain to a certain extent, but then I just have to deal with it. People who are aware of my pain think I have a huge pain tolerance, but that's not always exactly it. That's only the case for my BEST days. When it gets worse I start with the idea that I know my "normal" isn't pain-free. It's agony. I accept that I am going to be in pain. It can even bring me into a zen-like meditative state when I am concentrating enough to bear through it (note that this means that I can't focus on anything else). I don't like pain. But because I am in intractable pain, I have learned from- well let's just say I've been studying it for years.
I love this type of art, but goodness do I struggle with it. I am not used to so much color, thinking in layers is confusing, how to conceptualize pages into desired pieces continues to elude me, and placement of shapes is definitely an art form. None of that discomfort makes it bad. It is a bonus in my opinion. If you only stay where you are comfortable, then you will not grow. If you give up the moment you have pain you are not going to get anywhere. That is not to say that you should ONLY do difficult new things, there of course is value in spending time improving your preferred skill, or wokring in your comfort zone. Like sometimes I need to stay in bed from too much pain. But sometimes stretch a bit and maybe you'll find yourself better for it.
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