Fire Planet

I painted this around the time of the 2017 Presidential Inauguration. There is a... slight chance... you may detect some fury. Though it is more accurately based on what I felt was upon us- a firestorm. Fascism, climate change, oppression- everything we are seeing now just two years later. It wasn't just that it seemed it all was coming, it was there already and we had missed our last chance to divert it. Many couldn't be bothered to try to stop it, and others felt destruction was the same as prosperity. Furthermore, a lot of people welcomed the storm- and continue to do so.

I've always faced abstract kinds of art with mad trepidation. I was sensitive repeatedly being told that I had no style of my own, so I shied away from anything that trumpeted an absence of style. However I readily admit nearly all of my doodles and shorter art exercises are abstract. I suppose doodles don't need to have style ;)

This kind of art is absolutely tops for stress relief. If you have no goals, you don't need to stress about accomplishing something. You an forget getting any objects forms correctly. You don't have to focus on keeping within the lines. Most of the time, you don't need to be upset that it didn't turn out the way you wanted because you didn't have a "way" you "wanted" it. The only thing you need to accept is that you didn't expect anything from it.

However sometimes you have a specific idea for abstract art. You have a plan, a goal, and often a pretty good idea of how you want it to look like. Sometimes I will have an idea for an abstract painting and not be able to settle down until I get it out of me. Frustratingly, sometimes I am either unable to do so or cannot find the time to try. Then I will be extremely twitchy for a while until I don't care anymore that I missed my chance. Sometimes it is months. There are ideas from years ago that still bother me, yet I no longer have the urge to try them.

I have learned that it is more important to get something out than try to do something perfect. As I have already mentioned in previous posts, that has even meant doing an art piece in graphite or crayon. If I especially love it then I can use the completed drawing as a study for a further painting. However I feel much better getting the idea out. It is not because I'm unbalanced or anything, but because I doubt myself a lot. If I don't try something, I get mad at myself. If I try and fail, at least I found out if I could do it or not. I absolutely hate thinking, "what if?" What if I would have loved it? What if it would have led me to another style that fit me well? Screw it, I'll at least take a stab at it.

This particular painting was the kind where I had an idea of what I wanted to paint, but wasn't too picky about how it came about. I knew the colors, the landscape, the location and type of storm. But each brush stroke was lizard brain instinct. The idea was simple- the storm of stupid and hateful will destroy us all, and possibly the future of human civilization with it.

I used to obsessively reduce, reuse, and recycle. I conserved water. I made my carbon footprint as small as an IT technician could possibly muster- and tried to get my workplaces to replicate my efforts. I have worked for social justice for decades. I tirelessly tried to make us better. But at this point I am starting to wonder if the best thing I can do is prepare some sort of time capsule for when some far future extra-terrestrials come to view the idiotic trainwreck that was humanity, or more likely that life on Earth bothers to evolve again. I just have no more faith in us.