On top of that, it can get painfully repetitive. So I was looking at new ways to stretch the method. That is what you should do with art anyway. Create, consider, create more.
This piece is one of my favorites that I have ever completed. My memory is fuzzy but I the original idea might not have even been mine. I have a ghost of a memory (is it real or is it Memorex?) of my art professor suggesting that I do the background and the subject independent of each other. Or did I ask him for his opinion on trying that new tactic? 20 years and two TBIs (traumatic brain injuries) is a long time. Whether I got the idea or just validation, this was still assisted by another.
Other than a ruler, I free handed it. I wanted straight edges, but I was never a fan of technically-perfect angles. I usually don't even try to get them correct these days. Do not mistake my unwillingness for ability. I spent a lot of time and money in art classes with compasses and protractors, completing boring foreshortening drawings, many of which involved boring angles in boring hallways. But my issue with them mainly stems from the idea that it makes life look too perfect, too organized. That's not what I see in life, and not what I want to convey in art. Life is horrible, haphazard and cruel. Even if you do a good job replicating the angles, they're going to look wrong anyway because - surprise!- life IS NOT perfect and organized.. All correct angles look too staged, but otherwise it looks like it was done wrong. Consider still live paintings- they are always facing the artist. That is not real life. But if not staged that way, they will look incorrect.
So black bunny ended up with floating angles, different sized ears, crooked shoulders, misaligned feet... well nothing was perfect. Maybe my art would look better if it were made by a robot- digitally. But my art isn't usually about things looking better.
I honestly do not know why I have never done another like this. In other words, this is the only subject in front of the Fracture background that I ever remember making. Back when I created it, I think I just had so many things to experiment with that both successes and failures were just seen as blips on a chart. OK that worked, now see if something else will work or not. And then I just... stopped.
Art itself wasn't the reason I stopped creating for more than a decade (other than a small resurgence when I left my garbage ex). I wasn't frustrated, unsuccessful or stop getting ideas. I just didn't care anymore. It was killed in me by an abusive relationship, a terrible back injury, and soul-killing jobs. Not only did I have no support from a partner, but he was actually discouraging me from creating art. Then my back injury made it impossible to sit or stand for more than minutes at a time, and I was too drained to think of other solutions. Then my jobs were so oppressive about my age, sex and back injury that it took every ounce of strength that I had to keep working. I would spend all day at work, sometimes two jobs at a time, usually the last few hours crying in pain, and then come home and collapse. My ex would ask me what was for dinner, yell at me for not doing the dishes, and berate me for showing pain. It was all so inconvenient for him, you see. All despite being home for hours and just playing video games in his underwear. Sometimes (he worked in public schools) he didn't work for months but still expected me to do all of the household upkeep because he "was on vacation."
I could not find time or energy to paint. Fast forward 20 years and even with the back pain, the exhaustion and either a draining job (but only one now, but regularly 85 hours a week Because You Are Now Salary) or the drain of no job... and I found ways to create art. Because I had a supportive partner. He buys me tons of art supplies so I am actually guilted into creating just to stem the tide. Imagine what life would be like if we all supported each other.
No comments:
Post a Comment